[Filtered from Akira]

[thestudyof]

So, apropos of nothing...

Say you're extremely concerned about the actions of someone under your care-- wanting to make sure they stay on a "steady path", and similar concerns like that. Having never really... Dealt with the scenario historically before, for how long should you be worried, for?

I still want to be able to keep an eye on this person and be responsible, but I'm not sure where the boundary should be set, when it comes to this.

Comments

[becomeanwarrior]

[ ...Uh oh. Okay, Onni, don't blow Mamoru's cover. ]

I suppose it would have to depend on what actions you're concerned about. Some things are ultimately things that aren't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but others could be more... worrisome patterns.

[thestudyof]

Worrisome patterns are what I'm concerned about, but the problem is that there's been no sign of those patterns since, well. Keeping them under supervision.

Which means it's working, but I can tell that it's causing an undue amount of stress at this point in time.

[theheadmonarch]

Hypnotize them and turn them into a cute girl when they disobey.

[thestudyof]

What.

[theheadmonarch]

Humiliation, Awkwardness and Shame are strong motivators to avoid breaking rules and set boundaries!

[mynameis_legion2]

Snacks, Toys, Give an organized environment, but be stern, and eject them if they bother others.

[thestudyof]

Hnm.

Do you have advice for someone who is more late teens to early adulthood, but still dependent?

[mynameis_legion]

Ground them and confiscate their electronics and/or cut off their internet access.

[whitrthanwhite]

Have a nanny deal with it.

[thestudyof]

The person I'm speaking of is a little too old for a nanny.

[whitrthanwhite]

Really? That's a thing?

[blackrthanblack]

Hire bodyguards and hover incessantly.

[thestudyof]

... Technically I'm ahead of that, but thank you.

[blackrthanblack]

Also, be worried until they're old enough to move out and maybe never stop worrying.

[morethaneverauburn]

Be prepared to break people's bones and practice with a bowie knife at least every two weeks.

Also, be firm yet loving, set boundaries, set expectations, set up a reward-punishment structure that isn't too arbitrary but not too strict.

Also, you never stop worrying.

Don't be stifling, but make it clear you have expectations. But not to the point of being malicious.

And if they screw up, be loving and kind, even if it's a teen pregnancy.

[thestudyof]

... The rest of that is sound advice concerning this, but "bowie knife" and "break people's bones"?

[morethaneverauburn]

Two of my daughters had obstinately difficult teachers.

We had *very* Intense Parent-Teacher meetings regarding one not being a delinquent and one not being a vapid piece of fluff.

I've also had to deal with a long number of difficult people.

[dragun83]

Just try and give the best advice you can give, help them. They have to make their own choices.

[thestudyof]

... What if I said some of these choices might be being made without active knowledge?

What do I do, then?

[longingfreesia]

Hmm. So what I'm getting from your replies to others is that you're worried about your nephew who is under your care, and they're around the age of a young adult?

It's difficult to advise without knowing the full story, but at that age, I think the best thing to do if there is behaviour you're worried about is to talk to him about it, but not in a way where you'll make him defensive. Be encouraging, reassure him he's not in trouble and that he has your support, things like that, but try not to talk down to him or anything, he'll probably respond better if you treat him a bit more like an adult than a child.

Of course, you do need to also allow him to have the freedom a young adult needs too, but if there is behaviour that's concerning you, it's better to have a chat to him about it, so you can both understand each other on it better, rather than resorting to punishment.

I hope that helps the situation.

[thestudyof]

It does. It's just...

It's a difficult scenario, and while I wish I could be more... Blunt, about the circumstances, it's better that I pick and choose who knows the complete details about it.

I think I can at least say that what I'm concerned about isn't completely his fault or doing, but it involves him either way.

[knowinginthedark]

So, I know you hate me and wish I would stop haunting your waking thoughts, but.

What is going on with Akira, apparently?

[thestudyof]

I'll humor you for a moment:

Why does it matter to you?

[wherethewildthingsare]

Three years.

[thestudyof]

Three years?